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Why Won’t He Choose ME?

Uncontrollable

The uncontrollable list addresses things that you can’t control.

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5-5 stars based on 164 reviews
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·There’s someone else in the picture.

Have you ever thought that you were the primary one? Well, you might be with him, but there’s a chance that he’s not solely with you. Many times a man will go into a relationship with no end result in mind. Sometimes he is just looking to get whatever he can, when he can. More often than not, for selfish reasons. However, once he’s caught you on the hook, he’ll weigh his options i.e. do I keep her or throw her back? If he discovers that you will accept his naughty behavior, he’ll run game on you until the next best thing comes along. He is fully aware that some women tolerate and accept what he will give them. He understands that he may be a great catch himself simply because of his financial position, job title, swag, look, and walk with God. This also can apply to the man that is married and has no plans to leave his wife. On the other hand, maybe he’s planning on separating from his wife, but isn’t willing to break the news to you.

He’s not financially prepared to secure your future.

Many times a man will base his manhood on the money in his pocket, the position he holds on his job, or his fame and celebrity status. If he is not secure within himself, he will not feel as though he is capable of securing the future of his family. All in the name of achieving his financial dreams, goals and visions. He will struggle with trying to balance faith, family and finances. Sidebar: Ladies, Manhood is not attached to the car he has in his driveway, the clothes that he wears, or the money in his bank account.

·He is emotionally or physically damaged from his ex.

A man will emotionally struggle and internally destruct in a new relationship if he has not healed from the emotional or physical memories caused from his past relationships. When a man has not taken the time to heal on the inside, nor has he received the appropriate level of help his behavior will cause him to self-sabotage the relationship.

·He only wants sex.

When a man wants what he wants, you can’t change his motive. You can control whether or not you choose to be part of the party. Too many women fall victim to the trap that they can convince a man with sex to commit to a relationship. He’ll start off by
promising you the world up until the time he has what he wants. If he is only in tune with you during sexual pleasures, you may be more of the desert than the entrée. Too often during sex the man gets what he wants (all of you), but you never get what you need (all of him). 
 

·You are good enough to sleep with, but not good enough to take home to momma.

He knows what he knows, when he knows it. Most of the time a man knows up front whether or not he can see you meeting his mother. Once you get categorized you are placed in that box until there’s an emotional or sexual desire to be fulfilled. Then he will call you round the clock seeking to get your time and attention to fulfill his selfish desires.

·He can’t see you as the mother of his children, his dreams or his heart.

He may want to have children in the future, but your values aren’t in line with his. Ultimately, this is not something that he will compromise on. There are many instances a man will choose a woman who was much like his mother. In fact, the highest compliment that a woman can get from a man is that you remind him of his mother. This is of course assuming that the mother son relationship is healthy and in a good place. For the ladies that are beyond child bearing age he’s challenged with sharing his heart and his dreams with you. 

Controllable

These are the things that a woman can control.

·He doesn’t want to compete with you and your career.

There’s a problem when every conversation from your lips is centered on you and your career. He doesn’t want to compete with you and he isn’t looking for a workaholic. A man wants to know that he has a woman that can handle herself in the boardroom and in the bedroom. If necessary she must be able to wear multiple hats and speak to his love language at the same time. No matter how successful you are in your career he still needs some TLC – tender loving care in the home.

·God fearing and not self-centered.

There are a number of men with strong spiritual values that are interested in a God fearing woman, not a self-centered woman. In order for him to be fully connected to her he must connect with her through their relationship with God. He is looking for a God-centered relationship, it can’t always be about you. The woman that he is looking for must have a strong understanding of self and a one-on-one relationship with God. God must be the center of her life. When you are in a personal relationship with God then you can rest assured that He will communicate with you what’s a good choice and what’s a God choice for your life as it pertains to a man.

·Don’t be too clingy.

Never come across overly clingy or too needy. In other words, never poor all of you on him within the first few conversations. He is not looking for a woman that will cling on to him as if he is her knight in shining armor. This may work for the man who is looking to rescue the damsel in distress, but it will not work for the man who is not.

·He feels pressured.

Pressure burst pipes, but in relationships with men it can lead to indecision. Before you connect with a man emotionally, spiritually and physically be sure that he is willing to connect with you committedly. Test the temperature before you jump in the water. Don’t assume just because you had dinner and a great first conversation that he is willing to put a ring on it. If you have to give him an ultimatum, maybe is not the right one. Never attempt to guilt a man into action. This might create a counterfeit oneness. He has to want it. Pressure helps make diamonds, but not relationships.

·You are emotionally, mentally or physically damaged from your past.

No man wants to walk into a relationship and take on a project. A woman seriously traumatized from past physical or emotional damage can be too much for any man to take on.

·Low or no self-esteem.

A man that knows who he is can always sense who you are or you aren’t. In one or two conversations he knows just how far he can push the envelope. He can sense weakness, if there is one and he can sense a low self-esteem if there is one.

·You’re too bossy.

He’s not looking for a boss nor does he want to be treated like a 2nd class citizen in his relationship. The dominant alpha female characteristic will not work. Every man wants to feel wanted, needed and valued. If you want to connect with him you must learn how to affirm him and show him that he is appreciated.

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1 comment

  1. I have learned two things. 1. If a man tells you why, believe him. And 2. If you figure out on your own why he won’t choose you, believe it. In both instances move on if what you want is marriage.

    Aug 13, 2013

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