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The first episode of one of TV’s greatest and most successful game show, ‘Let’s Make a Deal’ aired on December 30, 1963. The show is a game of skill, luck, intuition, decision making and greed all combined into one. The basic premise of the show calls for contestants to dress up in costumes, vying for the host attention to be selected out of the audience to compete for cash and prizes. Contestants are asked to choose between the cash or trade for the curtain/box.  There is, of course, a catch. 

When offered by the host, players are always given the OPTION of CHOOSING to stop and WALK-AWAY, or they can take a gamble at PLAYING for what they could get. Those contestants that take the DEAL will usually chance it all by relying on luck and intuition to guide them through the process. Unfortunately, it’s a risk vs. reward situation. The more risk you are willing to take, the greater the potential reward. However, the host always seems to have something up his sleeve.

Let’s make a deal.  Let’s compare the game to what’s happening with our relationships, in our communities, and in our culture. For example, in the game, excitement and emotions run high as contestants vie for the attention of the host. We see the same thing happening in our relationships; people run into situations head over heels, full of excitement and emotion when it comes to attracting and relating to the opposite sex, right?

In our culture aren’t men vying for sex and affection from women, and aren’t women vying for a connection and attention from men? At least, isn’t that what we are seeing on television? Have we taken the deal for money, power, sex and recognition? In the game the host calls the shots. In relationships aren’t we beginning to see an evolution of men and women competing to call the shots? It is said that ‘men use money to get sex and women use sex to get money and control.’ So here’s the moment of truth. If you were to step back and answer a self-assessment question on your own behavior, what would the truth reveal? The question is this: Have you ever used sex for power, affection or attention?

Here’s what we know about the game. The host is the one who has control and power; therefore, he gets to call the shots. Have our relationships come down to men and women competing for power and control in order to call the shots? Whose rules are we playing by? Does it really have to come down to power and control? Why can’t we just work together and be on the same team? Have the roles in relationships changed? Are men being taught by women how to respect and treat them based on what they will allow? Are the women vying for headship to be the leader/BOSS of the family? How does this look in your household? Are men settling because they don’t want to be held to a higher standard of living? Are men making a deal because they don’t believe that they can truly have what they want, i.e., respect, loyalty and great sex?

Haven’t our families suffered enough from our poor choices, bad deals and absentee fathers? Have our men who are supposed to lead, provide and protect abandoned their responsibilities? Have the fathers and husbands taken the deal for the next best thing? Too many of our young men are learning how to treat women by what they hear in the barbershops and water coolers. Have fathers abandoned their assignments of raising boys to men? Have fathers given up on having real relationships? Are the ships’ helms left in the hands of our young boys as they attempt to navigate the terrain from boyhood to manhood? Have our relationships, communities, and culture as a whole been impacted by our mentality of selfishness and greed; a mentality that led us into taking one too many bad deals?

In the game people dress up in their zaniest costumes pretending to be something that they are not. All for the chance at playing the game, or getting their 15 minutes of fame on TV. Doesn’t this exist in our culture? Haven’t we witnessed this with our friends and loved ones who pretend to be something that they aren’t? Haven’t we seen people who act as if they have everything together? We’ve all seen or heard the stories of friends that have to be seen. These are the friends who will do the craziest things. They’ll run out to Nordstrom’s and spend money that they don’t have, just to wear the outfit to the party. They want to be spotted wearing their Prada shoes or carrying their new Louis Vuitton bag. They’ll leave the tag and the receipt on the item so that they can return it later.   

Sadly, anyone who truly knows them knows that they’re hiding behind the makeup and the mask. We know that they are suffering and struggling on the inside. We know that they need help (i.e. counseling, therapy, coaching, or JESUS CHRIST), but they would rather self-medicate and stay in costume. Haven’t we seen enough people play the ‘fake it until they make it’ game? Haven’t we seen our children and relationships struggle through one too many bad deals, failed marriages and fatherless homes? 

In the game, contestants have to use skill, intuition and sometimes luck. In relationships aren’t many people beginning to feel the same way? Many are asking, what does it really take to find true love? Some have grown so impatient with finding LOVE that they’ll leave no stone unturned in their efforts. Some have become bitter and bruised and have switched roles. Now our culture has seen a shift in roles and behavior. Since when did it become status quo for women to act like men and for men to act like women in relationships? (buy cheap furosemide) Some people would rather compromise their values by taking the roommate over the ring.  Then there are those who will clearly compromise their values to get married for security; willing to take the chance at finding love later. If the truth be told, we’ve all taken some deals, which deal have you taken?  HEAVEN or Hell – The WORD or the worlds

I’ve learned along my journey to never say, “NEVER.” The longer you live the more likely you will find yourself eating your words. I’ve witnessed a number of close male and female friends say the word never, but when things got tight they took the deal to get out of a tight situation. I‘ve heard some of my female friends say, “they would never get involved with a man who doesn’t want to commit, or be with a man who was not on her same level.” Christians use the term – equally yoked. What happens next? She’s involved with a man who won’t commit and isn’t on her same level. She perceived it to be a monogamous committed relationship, but did he? Interestingly, in this instance I don’t fault the man. He told her from the start that he had no intentions of committing to anything more than a friendship, yet, she did everything she could to try and convince him to be in a relationship with her.

I’ve heard my male friends say that they would never marry a women who doesn’t know God and has cheater tendencies. What happens next; he overlooks the subtleties and marries the good girl who becomes the bad girl who emotionally and physically cheats on him. Then he looks back and says, “I wish that I had paid more attention to the signs early on in the relationship.”

In both of these scenarios, the people took the bad deal; a deal that lacked promise and any future potential. Whether they wanted to accept it, or not, it wasn’t going to happen all because their partner’s heart was never involved. That’s like getting in a car without an engine and expecting the car to move. Just like a car, from the outside it looks good, but it’s missing everything under the hood to move the relationship forward. She was hypnotized by his personality and sexual healing, but missed all the character flaws. He was bedazzled by her good looks and her affirming words by how she made him feel when she called him “Big Daddy.” Maybe they both were infatuated by the deal of what could be. It would appear that in both cases the partner’s actions did not match their words, or did both individuals CHOOSE luck over intuition? Could it be that they chose the world over The WORD? What would you do if this were your deal?

 

Continue to PART 2

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  1. Ronda Andrews

    EXCELLENT! Great analogy of modern day relationships!!! Sad but true!

    Dec 29, 2013

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