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Long since the beginning of creation man has blamed the woman for what he didn’t do. We all know the story of Adam and Eve. Adam and Eve, were given specific instructions by God not to eat the fruit from the forbidden tree. Shortly after they ate from the tree, God asked Adam, “Adam where are you?” We all know that Adam blamed Eve and the rest is history.

To this day, men all across the country and abroad are still blaming the woman in the garden for their poor CHOICES.  What holds true is that Adam made the CHOICE to join Eve. What holds true is that Adam did not LEAD her. Sadly, what holds true is that our history of disobedience is chasing our future and hindering us from receiving God’s promise. WE can no longer blame the woman for what WE must do.  We can no longer hold her to a STANDARD expecting her to do something that we aren’t LIVING up to ourselves. As men, it begins with us and ends with US men. If WE won’t change, neither will our circumstances.

It’s time to MAN UP and ACT LIKE a MAN and accept our responsibilities. It’s time that we reclaim our roles at the head of the house and not cower like a mouse. Jesus showed us how to TAKE RESPONSIBILITY for our actions, not make EXCUSES for them. He showed us the MODEL of how we as men, must LIVE, LOVE and OBEY our Heavenly Father. He showed us how to have healthy interdependent relationships with others.

As men, we cannot keep sending the little boy to do a grown man’s job. We must learn how to reconcile the issues with the little boy in the mirror, before we address the issues with the man in the mirror.  As men, we must learn new solutions on how to deal with our pain and challenges. No longer is it acceptable for us to allow the pain of our past and the challenges of the present (i.e. anger, rage, anxiety, stress, abandonment, molestation, physical abuse, verbal abuse, rejection etc.) to become someone else’s problems. It’s not right, nor is it fair to keep putting our issues off on our wives, children and our family.

It is time for us to truly learn how to be our brother’s keeper. With the challenges that we face day-to-day in this country, it is unacceptable for us to ignore the issues or the problems of the men closest to us. It’s time that we raise the bar and hold one another accountable for our actions. At some point, we must come to the conclusion that we can no longer continue to self-medicate and seek counsel from other men inside the barbershop. We all have real issues, real problems and it’s time that we seek real answers from qualified professionals.

Yesterday was the last day for my EXCUSES. Yesterday, I was a product of my environment and today I am no longer a prisoner to it. No longer will I allow doubt, fear, shame, guilt and rejection control my actions. I will no longer ACT like a little boy when faced with the RESPONSIBILITY of a MAN. I will remove the shackles from my MIND and allow God to control my HEART.

Men: There’s too much at stake our families are depending on US. It’s time for the man to resume his rightful place at the top of the family. Our women should not have to carry the load and our children should not have to suffer from it. The woman was not built to carry the load and the children were not meant to have to deal with it.

So remember, the next time life happens don’t blame Eve for the CHOICE you should have made. 


  1. Stop worrying about what it looks like and start looking at it for what it can become. Sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself is get out of your own way.
  2. Don’t commit to it unless you can deliver. Don’t make a promise that you can’t keep.
  3. Make sure that you aren’t the PROBLEM. Every adult issue starts with a childhood problem. Reconcile the issues with the little boy before taking on the problems with the man.
  4. Start journaling your inner thoughts. Journaling is therapeutic, but it’s not THERAPY. Get help.
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  1. Ayanna

    I completely agree with you. We must take responsibility for the decisions we make. Even if the poor choices of others results in unwanted and painful circumstances for us, we do not have to stay there. We have the power to make wise decisions that can put us in a better place. I am not responsible for the decisions that others make but only for the choices I make in return. Our lives are the sum of the decisions/choices that we make.

    Oct 7, 2013

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